Commission: Forgiveness

Fandom: Silent Hill

Prompt: A long journey comes to an end when Anne and Murphy change because of their long, unimaginable stay in Silent Hill. They find that they no longer can take it any more.

Genre: Platonic Relationship, Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 2,732

How long had it been?

How long had it been since my mistake?

The rain fell to the ground as if it were attempting to create another ocean. I stood in it, it felt more like ice on my skin. Time had seemingly frozen for me, death had become a prison for me. No matter what I did, nothing changed, nothing moved. If I died, he’d come back to the feeling of rain surrounding me.

Reminding me.

Taunting me.

I deserved it, didn’t I?

I was a killer.

I had killed a man who hadn’t deserved to die. To make matters worse, my worst enemy wasn’t the monsters that surrounded me, but a person just like him, another human. The only other person stuck in this hell hole alongside me.

“Anne Cunningham…”

The name left a bitter taste in my mouth. While her father, Frank, wasn’t one to hold a grudge or to believe in revenge, his daughter wasn’t. For however long that they had been here it had been me against the young woman. A cat and mouse game that most often resulted in her shooting me while I refused to fight her. My dulled brown eyes watched the rain fall from my hair to the ground, patterns lost in the dampened ground.

This is where I landed myself. This was all my fault, wasn’t it? Even killing myself would land me back in this place, the rain never failing to make its appearance. It made me begin to hate the rain in spite of myself.

Who was I to hate anything?

Who was I to hate something that was harmless?

Wiping at my eyes, I tried fruitlessly to stop my tears, but no matter how hard I tried, they kept coming back. With a heavy breath I had finally given up, allowing my own rain to mix with that of nature’s. My legs could no longer support me. I fell to my hands and knees, my soaked hair falling in front of my face. I bit my lip to keep my sobs in, not wanting to be heard by any of the monsters nor Anne. I felt silly, crying in plain sight while trying to be quiet as to not be noticed or caught.

Such irony!

Trying to gather the last bit of my strength and sanity, I stood from where I had fallen, wobbling as I walked.

“I need shelter..”

That was a no-brainer. It was more dangerous to be out in the open than it has been to be hidden in one of the abandoned buildings, but that by no means meant that I would be safe inside. No where was safe in this hell hole. Hell, to go pee would be a struggle! I shuffled my feet towards one of the random emptied buildings but stopped suddenly.

Someone was there.

I knew someone was there.

Although I was more than ready to meet my fate, my instincts had worked faster than I had expected them to. I looked up only to be met with the green eyes of the person that I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to see.

“Anne..”

My cheeks burned in embarrassment at how my voice had been just barely above a whisper. It wasn’t like she wasn’t able to hear me, but simply because of how weak he sounded. Anne stood silently in front of me, only a few steps away. Her hand remanded by her side, not bothering with reaching for the gun that lay almost innocently at her hip. My brown eyes met her green ones, I  could see that she was just as tired and worn down as I  was.

Me? I couldn’t blame her.

Anyone else would have given up had they been in her shoes. I was more than sure they would have tried and attempt to kill themselves. Anne’s face was hardened, her eyes were dull, she looked as if she had experienced many years of turmoil beyond her years.

“I wasn’t expecting you, Anne.”

“As long as I’ve been after you?”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that. How long had it been since the two of us were able to have a conversation normally? I simply nodded, finding that she was right. How silly of me to forget, how many times would it take for me to realize that she would always be here with me? The silence that followed was a cold one, it was much colder that I had expected it to be, but perhaps I could blame it on the rain.

I couldn’t feel it anymore, but I was sure that just like before the rain felt like nothing short of shards of ice piercing my skin. My brown eyes scanned Anne, wondering if she could possibly feel the same. Sadly enough, she showed no sign of a shiver. Anne, however, looked….tired. Not the type of tired where a good nap would fix you right up, but more so the type of tired that was in the soul.

Having lost her father to my dirty hands, having been stuck in this hellhole, and having experienced things that I was sure I knew nothing about, she deserved the right to that look. She deserved to have that look and not be told to straighten up. I found that I could see the little details about her in the rain. The bags under her eyes, how much her cheeks had sunken in, how calloused her hands had become, I noticed it all.

“Anne…”

My own voice shocked me. I hadn’t wanted to say anything, what could I say? Just being in the presence of another human being was enough for me, even if that person had killed me on a number of occasions. Green eyes flickered to my brown ones, I was sure that I had her full attention.

“I know… I know what I did. I understand that you’re upset with me even now, but you have to admit that you’re tired of being alone too-”

Where was I planning to go with this? What was there to say to a person whose father you killed? I felt as if I were walking on eggshells, but at the same time wished that that was the case.

“-I know you must be lonely too… I-”

Anne cut me off with a sigh and a hardened look. I wasn’t sure if she was upset with me or if she was tired of my rambling. Truthfully, I half expected her to reach for her gun and give me a few new holes but…she didn’t.

Don’t.”

It was simple to say, I didn’t blame her. I found myself desperate though, I yearned for human contact. I yearned to be with someone, even if that person hated me.

“Anne please… We’re both alone in this place, shouldn’t we work together?”

The green eyed female kept her hardened gaze on me, surely debating whether she should agree. Silent Hill was no playground, it played with your mind and it brought nothing but sorrow for all that entered.

“You killed my father. The person who would have been able to give you this would have been him, but you took him-”

I flinched flinched at her harsh words, dropping my head as the rain dripped heavily from my hair. I half wished that the rain would pour harder, if it did that then I wouldn’t be able to hear her, and she wouldn’t be able to hear me.

“-You’re just lucky that I haven’t pulled my gun again.”

Anne was playing tough. She wanted to have human contact, but felt that she knew better than that. I knew that she saw me as the enemy, someone that wasn’t meant to be trusted. Thunder sounded around us, seemingly shaking the ground that we stood on. It blocked out the noise that surrounded us, hiding the subtle sound of heels against pavement that I had noticed much too late. Once I went to look up I finally had noticed the threat that the rain had hidden from us.

“Anne! Move!”

“What-”

I pushed Anne out of the way, a jagged clawed hand ripping through my clothing and skin not a moment later.

“Hold on!”

Quickly pulling her gun from the holster she fired at the Screamer, killing it. While she had been quick, it hadn’t been quick enough.

“D-damn it…”

Blood leaked heavily from my torso, the swift cut reaching up to the middle of my chest. I should have been paying more attention! Rain water began to mix with blood as it pooled next to me, I hissed at the feeling of the cold rain touching my fire hot wound. I had seen Anne die one too many times, I  had seen the life drain from her too many times. If I could stop it just once, I would do it, even if it would cost me my life.

Didn’t Anne deserve as much? Hadn’t I owed that to her? Her wide green eyes connected with mine, I tried to offer a weak smile, lacking the strength to say anything. I hadn’t much to say anyhow. I needn’t ask if she was okay, she wasn’t bleeding or with a mark after all.

Breathing became difficult for me, the world around me seemed like more of a bur that anything else.

Has she always been so close? Since when has there been two of her?

I found myself confused as the blurred image of what looked like Anne. Her eyes seemed brighter than remembered, I had always liked looking into them. They reminded me of emeralds and Irish green lands, and the fire in them reminded me of just how unpredictable and lively she could be.

“-urphy!”

I squinted when I heard a sound. Why were her lips moving so slow?

“-phy!”

I offered her a small smile once again, but my eyes had fluttered close, I was much too tired to keep them open. It wasn’t until I had woken up in an unfamiliar place that I realized I had been forced to take a little nap. When I looked around I felt my wounds under the bandages. They had been stitched up and cleaned, even if the stitch work wasn’t the best. When I went to sit up I let out a hiss of pain, my cuts felt like they had been dipped in lemon juice.

“I see you’re up.”

Looking up I was surprised to see Anne sitting patiently on the wall, keeping watch.

“You stayed?”

“How do you feel?”

She avoided the question and without having to think much about it, I realized that she was unsure too. She didn’t know why she had stayed with me either. I shrugged to the best of my abilities as I forced myself to sit up.

“How long had I been out?”

“Surprisingly only a few hours.”

“I try not to sleep long.”

I explained, looking down at my lap.

“Murphy.”

At the mention of my name, I was quick to look up despite how tired I felt. I waited for her to say something, it was enough effort to just get myself against the wall and keep my head up. Although I waited for a few moments, she hadn’t said anything, I figured that she was just mulling over what she had to say. What would be the right thing to say in a situation like this?

“You’re right… I am tired-”

Her soft mumbled was easy to hear now that she and I were inside, though the rain outside hadn’t taken its leave yet. I only nodded, waiting to hear her out completely.

“-I don’t trust you, but each day it’s getting harder to be alone, without him.”

My head drooped, not because my neck had gotten tired, but because I was ashamed. No matter how much time had passed, I knew there was no way for me to atone for my sins. A good man was dead, and it was by my hand that it all happened.

“-but he wasn’t one for revenge. I thought that my anger because of his death would keep me going, but…it hasn’t. It’s wearing me down, and what’s the point of being angry when I can’t do anything more than just that? Be angry…”

The knot in my stomach seemed to grow bigger with every word that she said, did she intend to kill me again? To test if she was really done with being angry again? It would have been different had I been able to move, but with my injury it was hard to even sit up against the wall, fighting back would not be an option. My eyes shot up when I heard her laughing, she was looking at me, a tired smirk on her face.

“I know that he would be upset with me for what I’ve been doing for God knows how long. I just can’t find the energy to be upset with you. I don’t like it, but I’ve forced myself to forgive you.”

I blinked in confusion. Did I really just hear what I thought I did?

She forgives me?

For what seemed like years since this had all started, she forgave me?

“You..you what?”

She sighed, standing from where she kept watch before, walking around as she pulled a bag from where she had been sitting before, having obviously used it as an armrest.

“I won’t repeat myself.”

I couldn’t believe my eyes nor ears. She kneeled in front of me, opening the bag to find an assortment wood, leaves, rocks, and some matches. The wood and leaves looked so dried out and dead that it wasn’t even funny. She began to set everything up, starting a small fire to give us some warmth. Death was no longer a fear for her, so it seemed.

“We’ll be seen.”

“It’ll be like any other time. We die and come back.”

“Do you enjoy dying? They’ll find us.”

“Let them.”

She sighed as she sat down next to me, the crease in her forehead that I was so used to seeing was gone from sight. The fire burned dimly into the night, keeping us heated and gave us something other than one another for us to stare at. While nothing had been said it was still relaxing just sitting next to Anne, though I never knew that I would say something like that. Time had passed slowly in our comforting little silence, I hadn’t even been aware that I had fallen asleep, it was the people who woke me up that I had realized.

“F..Frank…?”

Those kind, blue eyes that I remembered seemed to see right through me, he looked the same but was dressed in all white. Anne stood next to him in a white dress, no longer wearing a look of wear and tear. I blinked in confusion, looking from him to the world that surrounded us. It was so beautiful, nothing but green grass that danced with flowers of all sorts as the wind brushed against them, the sky a beautiful shade of blue and free of any clouds. The sun shone brightly, giving me a sense of warmth and calmness that I hadn’t felt in a long time.

“So glad you could join us, Murphy. Welcome to the afterlife.”

“You mean…Heaven?”

He chuckled as he helped me stand, shaking his head.

“All theories of death are here. Some for reincarnation, some to just disappear, some to be turned into a tree, Heaven; it’s all here.”

“Then where are the other people?”

“Waiting for you. They all love to welcome newcomers, right Anne?”

He turned to his daughter who offered a smile, nodding. She looked so innocent and at peace, it made me wonder if this was really the Anne who I had fallen asleep against in Silent Hill.

“Yeah! Shouldn’t we go meet them?”

She turned and began her walk, Frank following after her; laughing, joking, and just enjoying his daughter. Hesitating, I took another look around, was this really where I was supposed to be?

“I guess…it doesn’t matter anymore…”

I kept my voice soft, and relaxed for the first time in what seemed like forever. A smiled painted my lips and, being back in spirits, I jogged after them.

“Wait up!”

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